betterthanaplan | Lucifer's mansion, Friday morning

"I swear that's never happened to me before," Duke said, staring quite fixedly at the ceiling. He and Lucifer had had a perfectly lovely date night last night, full of good food and sly puns, finishing up as promised with champagne in Lucifer's hot tub before they'd headed to bed.

And proceeded to spend the night encountering increasingly ridiculous reasons why they couldn't quite manage to get each other off, culminating this morning in Duke actually falling off the bed rather spectacularly while trying to get just the right angle. He was now the floor next to it, tangled inexplicably in a sheet, rubbing the part of his head that had grazed the nightstand on his way down.

This had gone way past ridiculous.

[for him whose bedroom it is]

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From:

betterthanaplan

"It was good," Duke agreed, accepting the bag with a nod and pressing it gently to his cheek. "Right up until all the, uh. Coitus interruptus."

From:

my_own_advocate

"I hate this bloody island," Lucifer said, considering Duke's face critically, as if he could somehow spot some more damage that way.

From:

betterthanaplan

"I'd say we should sail away," Duke said, "but, uh. Last time that didn't work out so well."

From:

my_own_advocate

"Well, perhaps flying somewhere before the next disaster hits would be a good idea," Lucifer said. "...How are you feeling?"

From:

betterthanaplan

“Bruised,” Duke said. “Frustrated. You?”

From:

my_own_advocate

"Yes on the frustrated, no on the bruised," Lucifer said, finally pulling his attention away from Duke's face.

He stomped past the man instead to go pick up the booze, and--

"I still don't know how on Earth that spatula managed to turn up."

From:

betterthanaplan

"And so unfortunately angled." Duke shook his head. "Maybe you have a poltergeist?"

From:

my_own_advocate

"Please, if I had, I would have noticed it, found it and-- defenestrated it ages ago," Lucifer said, twisting the cap off of the bottle and taking a nice, long sip.

From:

betterthanaplan

"Suppose if anyone can defenestrate a poltergeist, it'd be the Devil," Duke said. He sat down on the edge of the bed, then let himself fall backwards, ice still pressed to his face. "Do you suppose there's, like, management of this crap we could complain to?"

From:

my_own_advocate

"I can send a strongly-worded letter to the mayor, at least."

Jesse would be thrilled.

From:

betterthanaplan

"Start a petition, maybe. It'll be pointless, but maybe it'll make us feel better."

From:

my_own_advocate

"I'm not sure anything is going to make us feel better at this point," Lucifer said, and took another swig.

... Yes, this was, apparently, what was going to set him off after all other recent disasters.

From:

betterthanaplan

Duke looked up at him with a faint frown.

"You okay there, man?"

From:

my_own_advocate

"I am just extremely done with this island targeting all that we care about," Lucifer informed him.

You know, their agency, their peace of mind, and their ability to get their rocks off.

From:

betterthanaplan

"It came for Lucifer's sex life," Duke said with a snort. "The last straw."

From:

my_own_advocate

"After everything that's happened, the least it could do was let us fornicate in peace," Lucifer pointed out.

Especially when you'd repressed as much stressful, painful stuff as he had over the past few months.

From:

betterthanaplan

"Maybe it's one of those . . . one day things."

From:

my_own_advocate

"You mean it could be over tomorrow?" Lucifer asked.

Oh god, don't do that hopeful puppy thing, it really wasn't your style.

From:

betterthanaplan

"I mean there's no reason to think it won't," Duke said.

He'd made up with Octavia. His optimism was back.

From:

my_own_advocate

"Well, at least that might be manageable," Lucifer muttered.

(Maybe he needed this kind of intimacy after how breakable everything had suddenly seemed these past few weeks. He wasn't thinking about it, though, he was just feeling the general panic behind it.)