betterthanaplan | The deck of the Fin and Tonic, Tuesday afternoon

Duke had gone into town this morning, and come back with an acoustic guitar. It'd been ages since he'd last played, so he set about turning and warming up with unusual focus before eventually starting to play something relatively simple.

"Sorry
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like sorry, like sorry. . . ."

Should the narrative pretend that his song choice was random? Obviously it was not. It had been running through his head for days.

[for those on the island, and likely slow play!]

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From:

betterthanaplan

Duke nodded. "It seemed . . . appropriate," he admitted in return. "For both of us. Words haven't been easy, have they."

From:

okteiviakom

"No," Octavia agreed, as her gaze returned to meet his. "They really haven't."

From:

betterthanaplan

“I’m going to try to listen better to yours,” Duke promised.

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia nodded.

(It wasn't like he could promise anything more than that. Neither could she.)

"And I'm going to..." she started, then drew a breath. "To try and ask more questions. If I feel like you're not getting what I'm saying."

From:

betterthanaplan

"Thank you," Duke said. He squeezed her hand again and tried to use it to tug her a little closer. "And if you want to, we can talk more about boundaries sometime, too. Maybe try to figure some out together?"

From:

okteiviakom

The immediate discomfort somewhere in Octavia's gut at the mention of the word 'boundaries' probably said something.

She ignored it, for now, shifting closer with his tugging. Even if that only left her with a vague hum for a response.

From:

betterthanaplan

"We don't have to," Duke offered. Because vague hums tended to say a lot, from her. "And there's no rush. Either way."

From:

okteiviakom

"It's... kind of a hard thing to even comment on," Octavia admitted, carefully, as she tried to lean against his side, "without just getting into it."

From:

betterthanaplan

"Okay," Duke said slowly. He didn't really understand that, but he also didn't want to set -- or drive -- her off. "Do you want to change the subject?"

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia just had doubts about how much beyond the key word of 'boundary' she'd managed to communicate to him, before, in the middle of how wrong things had ended up going over New Year's.

So, complicated.

"Can we just... sit, for a while?" she asked, with some hesitation.

From:

betterthanaplan

"Yeah." Duke nodded, offering her a little smile. "I'd like that."

From:

okteiviakom

"Okay," Octavia murmured.

And tried to move his arm so that it was around her.

From:

betterthanaplan

It took Duke a moment to work out what she was doing, but once he did, he gave her a firm sideways hug.

"I know you said 'just sit'. But ai hod yu in."

He didn't think she'd complain about that small amount of talking.

From:

okteiviakom

"It wasn't that... strict, this time," Octavia muttered. Mostly, it had been a way to get out of feeling like she needed to force some sort of topic of conversation out of herself.

She settled her head against his shoulder.

"I love you, too."

From:

betterthanaplan

Duke bit his lip. This was good. He didn't want to ruin it.

But something had been sitting in the back of his mind for a while now, and he wasn't sure how to address it. Wasn't sure if there was a way to address it that wouldn't result in more explosions, more arguments.

So he swallowed it back and kissed the top of her head and thought about boundaries. And words.

From:

okteiviakom

No one could blame him. Although if he had braved it, he might have found it was neither personal nor intentional.

Octavia just nuzzled whatever the side of her face could reach. The top of his chest, mostly. Breathed him in, and wasn't subtle about it. It was a slow, deep inhale.

(And she thought about the remote session she'd had to start her day, earlier, with Dr. Baker back from her holiday break.)

From:

betterthanaplan

Duke hummed softly, more Tracy Chapman, and rocked her gently.

He had questions he'd tried asking her before that hadn't ended up answered that he could remember. And he thought he knew the answer, but with how he'd been misinterpreting everything lately. . . .

Admittedly, that fact just made asking feel even more dangerous. For both of them.

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia hummed something vague back to him. Mostly tuneless, because she didn't know whatever song it was that he was going for, but felt like... echoing something seemed good.

She also let him rock her. Closed her eyes, too.

Murmured, "I like this."

Because he should know.

From:

betterthanaplan

It did him good to hear it. "Me too," he said.

And took a deep breath.

"You, uh. You like me too, right?"

She'd never actually said, last time she brought it up.

From:

okteiviakom

"What?" Octavia asked, her eyes fluttering open even though she didn't pull back to look at him. He didn't see her faint, concerned frown, either. "Of course I like you. Why would I be here if I didn't?"

From:

betterthanaplan

"Because you love me," Duke said. "Which maybe isn't always the same thing. As liking."

He kissed her head again.

"I'm sorry about having to ask. Last time . . . you kind of just told me I needed therapy. Which was very true, so also thank you for that."

From:

okteiviakom

"I don't think I realized you needed to hear something that felt so... obvious," Octavia muttered. Even if the catch was how not obvious it had maybe become in the time after they'd had that conversation. "Even though I get it. Needing it."

From:

betterthanaplan

"Good," Duke said, some of the tension bleeding out of him. He rocked her again. "I was worried." Their conversations hadn't gone super well of late.

"And I like you, too. By the way. Even when I'm mad. Or frustrated."

From:

okteiviakom

"I think sometimes I forget, when I'm mad," Octavia admitted, nuzzling his chest a little bit again. "But it's like... I forget I like anyone, or anything. And then it goes away and I remember again."

She remembered who she was, when there were things fueling her that weren't desperate anger.