betterthanaplan | The deck of the Fin and Tonic, Tuesday afternoon

Duke had gone into town this morning, and come back with an acoustic guitar. It'd been ages since he'd last played, so he set about turning and warming up with unusual focus before eventually starting to play something relatively simple.

"Sorry
Is all that you can't say
Years gone by and still
Words don't come easily
Like sorry, like sorry. . . ."

Should the narrative pretend that his song choice was random? Obviously it was not. It had been running through his head for days.

[for those on the island, and likely slow play!]

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From:

okteiviakom

"But what about before then?" Octavia asked, ignoring the urge to make any comments about what he'd said about her feelings. "Or... after. Now."

From:

betterthanaplan

"I don't know," Duke admitted. "I think most people from Haven are at least a little repressed. Now . . . now they're taking even me by surprise sometimes. Hence some of the, uh. Explosions." He tilted his head at her. "Does that matter?"

From:

okteiviakom

"I guess that depends on what you count as mattering," Octavia replied, finally shifting just enough to actually look up at him again. "I was just asking because your example was... It was one where you had a really obvious reason to hold things in."

From:

betterthanaplan

”Having a reason doesn’t change that I was repressing things,” Duke pointed out. “Anyway. I guess I just want to say . . . I see you. Even when I read things wrong. I try to pay attention. And when you . . . express things out loud. . . .” He flicked the corner of his mouth up a little. “I get a little jealous.”

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia had only been trying to understand the scope and history of his repression. But, he'd already moved on, sort of, so...

Not that she knew what to say to what he was saying now. "Right," she murmured. "Well. I don't know if it's as great as it looks."

From:

betterthanaplan

Duke nodded. “The sweet spot is probably somewhere between repressing and . . . what you seem to do.”

He was back to being careful again. Trying not to tell her what he thought she was thinking or feeling. That was clearly something that set her off.

“I just wanted you to know.”

From:

okteiviakom

"Why?"

Maybe that was a stupid question. Octavia certainly didn't spend too long thinking about it before it was already out of her mouth.

From:

betterthanaplan

Duke took it seriously, though. He took a moment to think his answer over.

“Like I said,” he said finally. “Even when I get the interpretation wrong. I pay attention. That feels like something I need you to know right now. And maybe something you needed to hear.”

From:

okteiviakom

Maybe.

Close enough.

"Thank you," Octavia murmured.

From:

betterthanaplan

"You're welcome," Duke said softly in return. He leaned in to kiss her hair again. "And the interpretation part. . . . I'll work on that."

From:

okteiviakom

"And I'll try to help," Octavia replied. (Didn't it sound simple, said like that?) "Because I do want us to understand each other."

The way she'd always thought they already had.

Edited Date: 2025-01-10 03:34 pm (UTC)

From:

betterthanaplan

They had, once upon a time. Then life had happened to both of them, which made it more complicated to navigate.

The joys of trauma.

"Me too," Duke said, brushing his finger gently along her hairline. "It might be hard. But I think we're worth it."

From:

okteiviakom

Octavia rested the side of her head more against his chest, again.

"This would've all gone away a long time ago if we weren't."

From:

betterthanaplan

"You mean us being snogons?" Duke asked.

Making sure he had the right 'this' in mind.

From:

okteiviakom

"Exactly," Octavia replied softly. And finally tried sliding her own arm around him, too. "We wouldn't all keep taking on all the... difficulties, if there wasn't something worth it on the flipside."

From:

betterthanaplan

"Something very worth it," Duke agreed. "I wouldn't have made it through this last year without you two."

From:

okteiviakom

"And I don't know what would've happened to me during my first year back," Octavia replied, quietly, "if it hadn't been for you two."

She'd become untethered enough even with them around.

From:

betterthanaplan

"Can you tell me about that?" Duke asked. "What we did that helped, at least?"

He was hoping it might help him figure out better what to do now.

From:

okteiviakom

"If you're hoping for details, I don't have them," Octavia said, shaking her head, although only a little bit. Just as much as keeping it against his chest would allow. "There's a lot I just... don't remember."

The fun with your brain having been largely just traumatized soup for a while.

"But I do remember this: that both of you stuck around." For the most part. "And that was what was important."

From:

betterthanaplan

"Yeah," Duke agreed. "I don't . . . remember a whole lot about this last year or so, either." Trauma-soup brain, plus just . . . not actually doing all that much. "And I think I lost some of what's happened before it, too. But you guys keep coming back anyway."

From:

okteiviakom

"We chose you a long time ago," Octavia told him, her hand rubbing his side. "And we're still choosing you."

From:

betterthanaplan

"Even when I somehow manage to fuck it up at every turn. Including asking you two to try a threesome in the first place."

He remembered that part. All too clearly.

From:

okteiviakom

"... Huh?"

Octavia was probably not thinking of the right thing.

From:

betterthanaplan

"I sort of blurted it out and you and Luce were both . . . taken aback," Duke said. "There was drama. I'm still kind of impressed we got through it."

From:

okteiviakom

"Oh," Octavia said. "You said threesome, so I thought -- I was thinking of the first time we all slept together." She shook her head. "Anyway, yeah, that was... It could've gone smoother."

Diplomatic, Tavi.