My unicorn got run over by a tractor

"Because tourists are impressed by the stupidest things," Duke said. "Seriously, man, when I was a kid I used to make extra cash by giving tours of the sea caves back home. They're literally just large, smelly holes in rocks, but people went ape over them." He smiled. "Especially when you tell them they were frequented by, like, pirates and bootleggers and shit."

Some of them probably even were. But all Duke knew as a kid was that they were large, smelly holes in rocks.